FREE WRIGHT 4-3-13

As the sign up date for classes gets closer i try and determine what classes i want and how many i should take. i drowned myself this semester with 15 credit hours and i almost failed, if only my computer teacher would of let me drop instead of urging me to keep going. i guess that's why he is a teacher though, he is able to see the ability that people have. im still scared about this paper that is coming up, all throughout high school i exceled at other classes while my English barely slipped by with a d. i swore i would just stop once i graduated and not pursue any schooling further, but Taylor convinced me to go back to school and better myself  by getting my degree. luckily its not as a English teacher...hahaha. Anyways ill squeeze by and try my hardest and see how i do, because back in school i was to worried about who i was with adn what class i could skip next and what lake i was gonna be going swimming at. there are times that i wish i could just go back and redo it all the right way, i would be so much further ahead in life, i wouldnt have spent all that money on late nights at a club. i wouldn't have ran from the cops on my old bike, i especially wouldnt have been so careless with all my vehicles.

free wright 4-1-13

Taylor and i got to spend this Easter with my family, it was so good to see them all again. we let everyone know about the wedding and possibly when it would be. everyone of them acted happy so i think that they will at least attend it. but im struggling with my cis class so i guess i will have to drop it and still pay for it, oh great but that's what i get for 15 cr hours and 40 hours a week at work along with the military. next semester im only goon to take 12 hours to be full time still. college is a rude awakening to me now, i wish i could be like all these other kids not working living at home having t=my parents pay for it all. life was so much easier in high school when my biggest concern was who i was taking out this fri night. but now i see the world is full of bills, jobs, gas, and struggles. i could have it worse though so as long as i have a good paying job i cant give a sob story. i don't see how McDonald workers are cutting it with a job that only pays seven dollars an hour and not even full time, when i complain about my salary, drill pay, and then the payment i get from school. maybe im just jaded at how much im use to making and the life style i live. iv done great lately iv started saving 400 a month at least in my savings and i try and tuck away what is left over in my savings from my other paycheck to. except this week my school payment is coming out and that took a sizable amount out.

film unfinished

The film unfinished was created by the Nazis for the suspected use of propaganda against the Jewish people. The movie showed major contrast between the higher class Jewish communities to the begging part of the community. Even when I was watching I caught myself thinking of how these people could just walk by and not help their fellow man, but then I remember that most the scenes were staged. The documentary was very moving in another aspect because before I couldn’t even imagine what they had went through. Even now after the movie I can’t imagine because it only showed what the Germans wanted us to see so allot of it was fake. The living conditions were so horrendous and I don’t understand how anyone could keep motivation for living and keep their appearances up. I would go into a deep depression and probably try and fight back. The Nazis that were sent to film the ghettos had to know what they were doing when they were tapping some of the drastic differences. I think they are just afraid to admit the truth to the camera and the world now.

I have such mixed emotions toward how things went down, and I don’t understand how a whole community could be rounded up and shoved into a town only guarded by a handful of Germans. If that would of happened now a days or in the u.s we would rise against and fight back. Why didn’t they fight back when there were so many cooped together? Were they just too terrified or were they to passive maybe I just have had a different life style and I have higher expectations for myself.  Also what’s not told in the movie is that the Jewish community was promised work and better conditions so maybe that’s why they were so passive, but overall the movie is very graphic. Sometimes humiliating for what they have the Jewish peoples do in the staged scenes. I really didn’t want to finish the movie because the emotions it caused and just how horrifying to think that this took place not to long ago.

free wright 3-20-13

Iv found myself being overwhelmed with all this homework and school work. when i started out i had really good grades and gradually they have all slipped away. i feel very frustrated because i put my heart into everything i do and it turns out its not as good as i thought it was so i kinda loose the urge to keep trying and its jsut getting to me. lucky thing is that my computer teacher was so understanding he gave me the chance to make up the week i had missed so i hope that will bring me up some points. then going in to my descriptive essay it sucked to see 68 on my paper....a d REALLY. but ill see it when he hands it back today, i just had a shitty time in English in high school barely passing with a d but now i strive to be better than i was in high school. maybe im over working myself i have no downtime and im always either working, school, homework or doing the military thing. on top of trying to figure the wedding out and saving as much money as i can to put towards all of that. who knows maybe im not cut out for school or cut opt to have a degree maybe i should just have a certification in some of  my many skills. im freaked out to do the research paper now bc i wasn't comfortable writing the descriptive essay and iv never written a research paper either so i just don't want to receive a horrible grade on that paper as well.
 what else can you do besides keep on pushing and walking no mater the ruts you find yourself in bc there will always be a time when you can get yourself out, you just have to keep a calm mind and systematically figure it all out. when all else fails my mind switches into logical thinking mode and trys to figure its way out of that situation

Malka Baran survivor testimony (Shawn Stacye)

malka baran was born in warsaw poland on jan 30th of 1927, and moved to transelhoovah at the age of 1.
she spent most of her child hood in that city, her and 3 other lived in a 1 bedroom apartment above her dads printing shop. she attended one of the higher class school because her aunt was the secretary for the school. they would go back to warsaw to visit family and she found a love for opera, and not to long after warsaw and translehoovah was converted into the ghettos. in the summer of 44 early in the morning they were woken up by germans, her parents stuffed as much gold as they could on there body's before being marched into the market where they were seperated. her mother and brother were taken on the opposite line and were shipped to a treblanca. malka and her father was shipped off to a metal factory that sorted shells and cleaned them up. she developed a memory block to protect her from all the bad memory's  her friend filled her in with most of the information she doesn't remember. her father and brothers were taken to work on the rail road lines and were shot in the back so she never saw them again.
 she stayed in cabins with other workers and they slept on bunks of wood stacked 3 high and had no covers or anything to keep them warm. she always loved little kids and they had a little boy that hid out in there room because his mother was their maid. she said he was her savior because she got to play with him and tech him, when she became sick she had to leave the barracks. she was put into the sick ward and contracted typhoid ass well as the skin disease. the Jewish doctor was able ot cure her and send her back to the room she was originally in. she as in the camp for 2 1/2 years before being rescued by the Russian army. but she was afraid of the army so her and some girls hid in a apartment fining for themselves. they had a neighbor that was in the Russian army, he a a Jewish Russian soldier and took a liking to malka. he swore to take her home to his wife, but the army had to move out and he couldn't take her. he sent a lt. back to bring her to where he was based out of and she started working for the Russian army peeling potatoes in the kitchen. they started to attend school again but the kids were not nice because the way the dressed so they decided to never go back.
      The jewish soldier had to leave again and the commander wouldnt let them go with him because they could be spys so after he left malka and the girls decided to leave the army and go on a train back to poland. they were intercepted aking to join the jewish group for people who didnt have homes. so she left and she arrived to isreal with fake papers and on the beach her name was called. a relative had found her and set her to be picked up by a friend. she stayed with the friend for awhile, and met her husband there and after marriage they moved to new york. they had 2 kids and she started at a school teaching, she now has 6t grand kids and 1 of her daughter moved to isreal to study the holocaust. this experience has made her a deeper person

free wright 3-6-13

iv been slipping on classes lately,and iv even cut back on the days i work so i could have more time. i guess with planning a wedding and school mixed in with work is still allot. its getting harder to find my free time to spend snuggled up on  unless its at 12 at night and by that point im dog tired. but this is my first semester so im not really use to it yet and after this all i have are 3 left so small time discomfort for long term gain

free wright 3-4-13

Taylor and i went to marshfield to look at wedding venue 481 and it is simply breath taking even in the snow. like Taylor says shes only getting married once so who cares about the price...i do, but i cant tell her that. iv been married before so maybe that's why i have such a type grip on my wallet now a days. on the way down to marshfield we came across the house that was burning and i just couldn't imagine watching all my belongings and my house going up in flames. when i was seven my apartment building caught on fire so all my clothes and toys burnt but i wasn't around that weekend so i didn't get the full affect. so the lady who owns the venue is giving a hundred dollars off for a military discount and she is so laid back. Taylor keeps adding and adding to the bill, it started off with a cheap wedding venue and then went into eighteen hundred for just the venue. five hundred for a D.J. and im just thinking i can save that money by hooking an ipod up ugh. then eight hundred for food, she keeps coming up with more rentals plates glasses photographers. god i going to need a loan